Thoughts on My Fur Lady, Canadian Musicals, and a Bunch of Canadian History Nobody Cared to Teach Me in American Public School
Hello again! I’m back with another weird album find! If you liked this last time I did it, you’re in luck! If not, maybe next time I’ll be back with more interesting content.
The other week, my friend Chris and I went to San Francisco to visit a close friend who is currently on the national tour of Hamilton. The day after we arrived, Chris and I were left to entertain ourselves for the duration of one performance of Hamilton while our friend was off performing; (we were seeing the show in a couple of days). If you didn’t know, Hamilton is a long show. Hamilton is long enough that I used to play it when I drove home from college because I could make the two-ish hour drive from Columbus to Cleveland before (SPOILER) Philip dies. Similarly, I also learned that if I hustled a little bit, I could start Falsettos and still make it home before (SPOILER) Whizzer dies.
Anyway.
Despite being somewhat jet-lagged, we found ourselves deep in the VERY EXPANSIVE Grooves Record Store in the heart of San Fran. Coffees in hand (basic) we sat ourselves down on the floor (basic, and possibly gross) and set about combing through shelves and shelves of soundtracks and cast recordings, on the hunt for something weird, not really expecting much.
We didn’t find any more Catholic school productions of The King and I, but we did find something.
Chris pulled it out. It’s off-white with a turquoise and black illustration of a woman on its left side, and next to that it says:
A New Recording
with the
Original Cast
of the
Canadian Musical Comedy
First Presented at McGill University
February 1957
MY FUR LADY
ME TAKING THIS RIDICULOUS RECORD TO THE REGISTER, FT. A MY FAIR LADY GIF, DUE TO THE FACT THAT IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ANYONE TO MAKE A MY FUR LADY MOVIE.
Before we caught on to the whole “Canadian Musical Comedy” part, we thought it was some sort of foreign language edition of the very famous 1956 musical, My Fair Lady (lest you judge, we found a lot of these). But… nope. It was really just something called “My Fur Lady.” I was debating buying the thing because it was a little more expensive than my previously set 57 cent standard, but on closer examination, the sleeve was empty! The actual record was not inside! I had to slink to guy at the front and ask if he had any idea where the actual record had gotten to, and he produced it from a ~special shelf~ behind him. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder or something, because the three minutes where I thought I wouldn’t actually be able to listen to My Fur Lady convinced me that I had to have it. Needless to say, I coughed up the money and bought the record.
A quick google once I returned to NYC revealed that My Fur Lady, while initially a project at McGill University, first transferred to the prestigious Stratford Festival, and then eventually went on a 402 performance tour. So while I’ve never heard of it, and the information on the internet is pretty scarce, this was not a one-night-only shindig. I’m not entirely sure how common these records are, but a quick scan of eBay only turned up one for sale (and an original playbill of the production for $250!)
If you really want an in-depth plot synopsis, you can track down your own copy of My Fur Lady, but I’ll outline the sparksnotes version here:
In the (definitely fake) village of Mukluko (haha), a bunch of indigenous Canadians learn that their “independent principality” will become a part of Canada if their princess, Aurora Borealis (haha) doesn’t get married before her impending twenty-first birthday. Aurora travels to Canada and meets up with a guy named Rex Hammerstein (haha), and he teaches her to be Canadian because I guess a Canadian guy will only date her if she seems authentically Canadian too, or something. Also, the synopsis says nothing about her having to marry someone outside of Mukluko, so why doesn’t she just stay there and marry someone? Is Mukluko women-only? The synopsis doesn’t say. Anyway, Aurora goes with Rex and has a bunch of ~authentic Canadian experiences~, and then eventually ends up falling for - you guessed it - the Governor General. Wait, what? Not the Rex guy?
I have a lot of questions here. The title is obviously a My Fair Lady pun. The plot is… kind of a My Fair Lady pun. Will the music be a My Fair Lady pun? What does a Canadian musical even sound like? It’s also worth noting that one of the composers on My Fur Lady is Galt MacDermot (credited here as '“Galt MacDemotT.” Is this a spelling error, or did he eventually lose the second T professionally?), who composed the music for HAIR, my favorite musical of all time. Is My Fur Lady the spiritual precursor to HAIR? (I’m guessing not.)
Let’s dive snowshoe in.
SIDE 1
1. Overture and Prologue
It starts out with trumpets. It’s a march. And then ALL OF A SUDDEN, it’s jazzy. I’m talking upbeat elevator music. Saxophones, clarinets, high-hat in the percussion, you know the drill. Can’t say it’s what I expected. I have no idea what I’m in for here.
Oh no. The prologue is a Dr. Suess-esque POEM, enthusiastically chanted by a bunch of high-pitch voiced women with retro Canadian accents (wait, IS Mukluko only populated by women??).
“Ladies and Gentlemen, we welcome you to My Fur Lady, how do you do?
Our fur lady is the princess Aurora. Her loyal subjects all adore her.
She reigns in tiny Mukluko, an Arctic nation wrapped in snow.
Canada and the USA are building bases there today.
A project vast in its design, the Distant Early Warning Line,
known to government officials as the DEW line by its three initials.
The dollar spent in large amounts enrich our bulging bank accounts,
and that’s why we parade the aisles in the sleekest, chicest Arctic styles.”
First of all, “Aurora” does NOT rhyme with “her,” but okay.
Eventually the poem turns into a song, and it is FAST. But as far as I can figure, it’s outlining the main ~conflict~. Long story short, this DEW line is going to make these citizens of Mukluko very rich, because apparently, they are overcharging the constructors of the DEW line. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that this is some Western revisionist history, but okay.
Research Break!
The DEW line was a system of stations constructed in the northern region of Canada, that were to be used to detect Soviet bombers during the Cold War. The cultural ramifications of this meant that many First Nations people were suddenly having much more contact with “Southern” Canadians than usual.
And I guess that’s where My Fur Lady comes in?
2. Into a New World
Old school piano sound. There’s no way this woman, who I assume is the princess Aurora, is singing this song in any position other than dramatically draped over a piano, crooning sappy lyrics like “Into the arms of a love of my own…” Vocally, her voice is pleasant but sort of rich and dark. She has to be a college or graduate student, but she sounds about 45.
3. Teach Me How to Think Canadian
Okay, this number starts with speaking in rhythm that eventually turns into song. I was so excited by that that I almost MISSED the point of this opening conversation between Aurora and Rex: she wants to learn how to be Canadian, and he argues that Canadians are too boring to have their own identity. WHAT? Didn’t a bunch of Canadians write this? Aurora argues that everyone has an identity, and sings:
“You can always tell the English by the way they cut their hair.
You can always tell a German by the way he drinks his beer.
You can always tell a Frenchman by his sense of Savoir Faire.
You can always tell an American, but you can’t tell him much.”
Oof. The Canadians who wrote this might be self-deprecating, but (rightfully so) no Americans are escaping this musical unscathed. This section (and honestly this whole song) is obviously a direct riff on My Fair Lady’s “Why Can’t The English?”:
“Oh, why can't the English learn to
Set a good example to people whose English is painful to your ears?
The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.
There even are places where English completely disappears.
In America, they haven't used it for years!”
I know I don’t know enough about 1957 Canadian politics and social attitudes to fully appreciate how witty some of these lyrics may or may not be, but it’s charmingly catchy and dated anyway. Favorite parts include when Rex croons “Sayyyy what’s all this about mating anyway…?”
4. Governor Generalities
“I feel a song coming on…” whines a 20-something girl, and she’s right. Actually, she’s the best part of this song. She plays some sort of confused secretary to the Governor General who interjects with questions and weird hype-boy phrases like “Boy, you tell ‘em, GG!”
5. Canadiana
Though 50 years older, this feels like a predecessor to the Harvard Variations number from Legally Blonde: the Musical, because it’s just three people singing about how cool and posh they are (?). The only other thing you really need to know is that the chorus frequently rhymes “Canadiana” with “Banana.”
6. Honey, Don’t Be Highbrow
Pretty sure this is that secretary character again. She’s sad because her Governor General boss is too posh for her? She says she thought they were going camping, but they were actually going to the Stratford Festival???
“Why don’t you come you come down to my level and let’s give the devil his due.
I aim to make some love to you.
Why don’t you pack it up and stow it, all this literature and poetry?
Honey, don’t be highbrow with me.”
I’m not really sure why we need this number, as it appears to have nothing to do with the main plot (I don’t really care that the Governor General’s secretary might want to hook up with him?), but I don’t even really care because it’s A GREAT jazzy number. It sounds like a strip tease. I can see her now, chucking off a frumpy cardigan to reveal a fabulous gown underneath.
Honestly, this is a good song.
“Take Beethoven and Take Bach, I just wanna hear that rock and roll!”
7. …And Howe!
Okay so this opens with a reporter? Talking about something? And now a bunch of guys are singing about what flags to fly? Because Canada needs to prove it’s a nation? Why? Is it because they’re too boring? I’m learning how ignorant I am about Canadian history.
Research Break!
Apparently Canadian Flags were a HOT BUTTON ISSUE in the mid 20th century. Canada’s then-flag featured the Union Jack in the corner, despite the fact that Canada hadn’t been a British Colony for nearly 100 years. By the 1950s, Canada started to feel like maybe it needed a flag that didn’t feature a different country’s flag on it. While I guess this debate was in full swing in 1957, it wasn’t even resolved until 1964, when Canada officially adopted the Maple Leaf flag we all know and love today. I assume the title refers to C. D. Howe, a powerful member of Canada’s cabinet at the time.
Like the first number, this song is FAST. The lyrics FLY at you. When the Newfoundlanders sing about Newfoundland, it gets slow and plodding. What is that about? What are they trying to say about New Foundlanders? I don’t know regional Canadian stereotypes! There’s a motif from here that sounds and awful lot like “Try Me” from She Loves Me, but this show is six years older. Huh. Do Bock and Harnick have some explaining to do? They also keep talking about what northern animals they want, and I can’t say I get it.
SIDE 2
1. We Hate Each Other
Opening lyrics are… the title. It then launches into parodies of love songs except with lyrics about how much they hate each other instead. Gems like:
“I hate you, that’s the song of songs! I hate you, whispers the breeze.”
“Getting to loath you, getting to loath alllllll about you!”
“Hate me tender, hate me true, never let me gooooo.”
“Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, I gotta loath that man ‘till I die. Can’t help loathing that man of mine.”
“HATE AND DIVORCE, HATE AND DIVORCE, GO TOGETHER LIKE A CARRIAGE AND HORSE!”
The parody section goes on for about two more minutes than anyone needs it to go on for, which is to say it is AMAZING. Does anyone have the sheet music for this?? I want to do this in a cabaret in some basement location somewhere. According to the synopsis, this is a song between Rex and his ex. Why? Much like the song about the secretary and her boss… who cares? And yet… that’s where the best material has been so far.
2. Next Week is Work Week
This song is… Hawaiian themed? But it’s sung by a bunch of college students? In Canada?? Is the Canadian college experience particularly tropical? Anyway, they are all singing about how they don’t want to go to class this week. Good to know the college experience transcends both countries and decades. If I had to guess, this sounds like a contribution from Galt.
3. Royal Victoria Rag
Apparently this is about a bunch of sorority girls singing a song to teach Aurora to do a dance. And that’s exactly what it sounds like.
4. Society Gets Higher Every Year
First of all, I kid you not, this is a duet between that secretary and the Governor General….’s butler. And it’s about the downfall of stuffy high society people, set to a bunch of four line story verses.
5. The Debutantes’ Waltz
The whole “girls singing in unison” thing is back, just as high pitched and Canadian as ever.
“My daddy was too busy making money
to spend his time on family affairs.
He never bounced me on his knee, but bounced the market frequently,
and now we join the ranks of millionaires!”
They go on to finish with:
“On St. James street I know you have many a foe,
your arrivals all call you a cad.
Though we seldom have met, I think you’re a pet!
And I’m glad you could pay for me,
glad you could pay for me,
pay pay pay pay for me Dad!”
Are they saying they’re glad that they missed out on having a relationship with their fathers because it means they have money? I have a hard time with some of these old time-y musicals because without seeing them, I can’t figure out their point of view. I have to assume this some kind of parody, but are we meant to take these girls dead-seriously? One is funny, and one just kind of hurts.
6. Eulogy to Elvis
Okay, first things first, I have to admit that I actually typed “Eulogy for ELVES” and honestly, I really wanted this to be about elves, so I’m a little disappointed.
This song starts off with a creepy intro featuring a young woman talking to her “Daddy,” who I know from the song before is her REAL Daddy, but could she have said it any more suggestively? This song is HIGH for the women, and they are full BELTING. It’s intense. Despite its title, it doesn’t really sound like Elvis or rock and roll. It sounds like… a hoedown. Also, Elvis was QUITE alive and well in 1957. Why is this a eulogy for a 22 year old Elvis?
7. Snip
Apparently this a song about how the Elvis song was “obscene” and needed to be censored by the Quebec censorship man. (I AGREE, censorship man. That Daddy part was too spooky for my tender ears.) And now it’s a rather catchy ode to censorship, with lyrics like “the only four letter word I know is… snip.” Not sure what this really has to do with the plot of this show, but MAN was McGill trying to make some kind of statement here.
“Suppress it, suppress it!
Let nobody express it!
It’s not the truth you want to see, but the world as I say it should be.
I’ve got to earn my salary, suppress it!
Hahahahahaha!”
8. I’m for Love
Ope, the fresh-faced but old-voiced princess Aurora is back, and she’s “for love, it’s so romantic, it’s gigantic!” Not a bad song. If I had sheet music, I’d bring it in to an audition, if only to look someone dead in the eyes and say “I’ll be singing ‘I’m For Love’ from My FUR Lady.”
9. Finale
In the end, everyone sings about how they’re all “stuck with each other,” so I guess Aurora and the Governor General’s union taught all of Canada that they could all be boring together. Or something.
The End.
ANOTHER MY FAIR LADY GIF BECAUSE, WELL, YOU KNOW.
Well.
My Fur Lady honestly proved less of a plot-based album and more of an ode to 1957 Canada, which was obviously experiencing a sort of nation-wide identity crisis at the time. As Rex says in Teach Me How To Be Canadian, “But don’t you see, the trouble with Canadians is they spend half their time convincing the Americans they’re not British, the other half convincing the British they’re not Americans, which leaves them no time to be themselves,” which makes it extra interesting that this identity-crisis musical decided to use an American musical about Brits as a jumping off point.
But at the end of the day, whether or not My Fur Lady withstands the test of time or cultural barriers, you have to appreciate the effort here. This a musical that came out the year after the show it’s vaguely parodying, so it had to have been written FAST. And it was a school project that ended up touring the country to what seems like great success. In fact, one of the few articles you can find on the show says that it holds the record for the longest running original Canadian production (granted, the article is from 1982, but that’s still a 25 year streak, and who’s to say that isn’t still true?). As much as some of the wit may have been lost on my modern American ears (sorry, “…And Howe!”), some of the songs were real bops (here’s looking at you “Honey Don’t be Highbrow” and “We Hate Each Other”) and trying to fully understand this musical forced me to learn more about Canadian history in 48 hours than I did in 12 years of public schooling, so I guess this is a win for me!
As always, if you ever find any good Weird Record Finds, please send them my way!
Until next time, pray for a My Fur Lady revival.
ME IF YOU FIND ME A GOOD, WEIRD RECORD.
